Reality of Drug Abuse

Coming to terms with the sickness, loss and disabilities in my family has been very difficult. We've had days of sorrow and anger, joy and disbelief, hope and feeling powerless. No family is immune to loss or sickness and no family is immune to drug abuse. The magnitude of things going on in our family almost seems surreal. I never thought 10 years ago or even 5 years ago my extended family would be going through this. Not us, not my family. I used to think bad things happened to other families, not ours. The joyful celebrations are overshadowed by loss. For instance my great nephew will be here in 5 days but another great nephew was born still a few days ago as a result of drug abuse.

Most of what's going on is still unfolding. The repercussion of this level of drug abuse is unknown.  Long stays in rehabilitation facilities will be required and total disconnection from people they used with including other family members. Relocating to a new town may be needed away from areas they used heroin in. Places they bought heroin will forever be a temptation. That is their new reality besides rehabs and jail.

It's embarrassing admitting the truth about loved ones f**king up their lives. And that's what they're doing. My blog entries is about honesty and my thoughts on issues. Thinking you can use these things once without long term addiction is so naive. If my honest thoughts can save one person, then it's worth it.  I'm ashamed family members even put themselves in this situation but I am frightened more for the little ones who will grow up without their parents. What do you tell a 5 year old why Mommy might not be home for 5 years? Heroin was her and Daddy's choice.

Meth was my step-nieces downfall. Less than one year before her prison sentence began she had been a cheerleader and valedictorian of her graduating class. She received a full scholarship to a great university including room & board. Within months of starting college she was hooked on methamphetamines. During an outing with her boyfriend they were arrested for possession of meth and she had a concealed weapon. She was sentenced to prison .Because she wanted to try meth once her life is ruined. And she will have to fight addiction for the rest of it.

Heroin and methamphetamine abuse is no joke. Both of these things can kill the person abusing these substances. These things create criminal records and destroy lives, making situations hopeless. Heroin and methamphetamines destroy families and friendship. Heroin and methamphetamines destroy lives. Using just once can lead to eventual destruction of everything you hold dear. Why chance it ? Was that buzz worth it?

Meth is a man made compound consisting of poisons carefully mixed together. Heroin is the strongest form of opiates. Heroin and meth are highly addictive that begins destroying the body from the first use.

Faces of Meth and Heroin Users

"Faces of Meth™ is a project of the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office. This project began when a deputy in the Corrections Division Classification Unit, Deputy Bret King, put together mug shots of persons booked into the Multnomah County Detention Center. Deputy King worked with his co-workers in the Classification Unit to identify people who had been in custody more than once. He then worked to verify criminal records and files to determine and assure a history of methamphetamine related use. Deputy King also started interviewing people in custody to learn of their drug use, experiences with methamphetamine, how or if methamphetamine contributed to their criminality, and asked what they would tell young people about methamphetamine.

What Deputy King set out to do was create a realistic presentation about methamphetamine. He didn’t want to create something that made people curious about a drug nor that was a scared straight program. The idea was simple, be honest with kids, let them hear directly from the inmates, and show them what people who work on the front lines –whether it be a Corrections Deputy in the Jail, a Police Officer on the streets or a Public Health Nurse in a clinic see methamphetamine doing to people and to our communities." (Quoted Directly from Faces of Meth website)

I used this Oregon website to demonstrate the effects of methamphetamine abuse. I do not live in Oregon but methamphetamine abuse happens here too. Heroin and meth arrest make up 75% of our jail inmates. For example our county 5 years ago had approximately 300 arrests a year. Last year it was almost 2000. This year it might be 2500-3000 by the end of the year. I was reading our local paper online and viewed the active arrest warrants. 25 pictures of wanted individuals were posted together, the effects of drug abuse was apparent. I knew some of these people and it breaks my heart. Sadly the pictures I seen reminds me of the faces of Meth website. The pictures are used to educate kids and young adults of the danger of drug abuse.

As powerful as these words & images are, drug offenses are increasing. No community or family is immune from the repercussion of drug abuse. Drug offenses have increased 500% in our small, picturesque village these last few years. Sadly the devastation of drug abuse exists in my extended family too.

It's heartwrenching knowing some of the family I have been part of since 1986 have fell into this trap. Their appearances changed as well as their personalities from shooting up heroin? Methamphetamines ? Their minds and bodies wasting away. Drugs ravage the body and kill.

The addict isn't the victim, the children of an addict pay in the long run. Children of addiction end up living with other family members or in foster care. Children of addicts end up alone or become orphans.

That's the reality of drug abuse.

Rough Week So Far

Besides my diabetes being out of control most days, even though I eat right 85% of the time. I have been dealing with family loss and sickness.

If you're a regular reader you know about the sickness and terminal illness we've dealt with since Spring.

My Mother-In-Law D has less than 20% lung function and has probable Lung Cancer. Because of her inability to be put safely under anesthesia they can't biopsy the tumor. And there's a chance it can metastasis if they opened her up. So removal of the tumor isn't an option nor is chemotherapy. The tumor is growing. We know this from New xrays. The Dr basically told her to enjoy the time she has left.

A couple weeks ago they found a blockage in her heart. Again anesthesia isn't an option. Yesterday the Dr sedated her to put stints in and the aneurysm on her heart prevented anything from being done. She's had the aneurysm for years so this isn't anything new or something we didn't know about. Just Another obstacle. The Dr pretty much said nothing can be done. He did prescribe an extended relief medication similar to nitroglycerin. It's just a matter of time. She's yet to get a terminal diagnosis but things are looking bleak.

In other news my Aunt P died on 7/23, 30 years and 5 days since my mom died. Four months and  6 days since their brother passed away. Our second family loss on moms side in a few months. I'm sure my mom , grandparents& 5 siblings are catching up. Funeral arrangements have not been announced yet :-/.

Now for some happier news. My brother's health is improving just in time for the birth of his 7th grandchild. Levi can arrive safely without complications. My nieces csection is scheduled for 8/7.  And even better news

My uncle is being discharged from the Nursing Home today after 3 weeks in the hospital and 20 days at the home.

That's my life in a nutshell.

I'm a Day Late

I Hate Diabetes and Having Diabetes. I'm Yet To Embrace It or Accept It.

I'm scared and frustrated but I will continue to fight to achieve normalcy. Yes I know with diet, exercise and medication I can still have a long, meaningful life. I miss eating something without worrying if my glucose will spike to outrageous levels. I miss the times I would shop without closely examing each label for sugar content and carbohydrates.

In Loving Memory of my Mom

Thirty years ago God called my Mom home, 4 short days after her birthday. I do believe she's in a better place but still it feels so unfair. She only got to see one of her kids completely grown, there is four of us.

She seen one graduate but we all graduated, three of us went on to college. I graduated college with a 3.8 GPA.

Her eldest son  Jimmy was a manager of a multi-million dollar business for 14 years. Her second oldest son was in the Nuclear Field (Navy) for 8 years, Dave traveled the world on the bottom of the ocean. Her third child and oldest daughter took the long way getting where she needed to be but she eventually got there. Deb works for Whirlpool.

I'm the youngest child. In high school I received multiple awards and accolades on the state level for health knowledge, worked in nursing and for a major telecommunications company after graduating college.

Losing my mom as a preteen was heartwrenching. I was barely 12 years old and I felt robbed.  Deprived! I felt lost but my life continued even when I prayed hard to go back in time, for more moments with mom. I feel cheated. She died without warning and I seen her take her last breath. I remember the coroner pronouncing her dead. The years she should of had were taken away abruptly but  I know she's with God.

I got married on what should of been her 50th birthday, the first of her children to marry. She never got to meet any of our spouses or grandchildren or great grandchildren.

She never got to hold any of her 10 grandchildren or 9 great grandchildren, her 10th is due to arrive on 8/7. Would they had called her grandma? Nana? Granny? We will never know. She would be so proud of the grand babies.

Realistically I know had she survived the stroke as severe as it was she might of been bedridden and unable to eat, drink or communicate. Medical intervention in 1983 was not promising for Cardiovascular Accident (stroke), had she not died immediately.  Today there is medication that can reverse the long term effects of a CVA if It's given soon afterwards. As much as I wanted her to live it would of been more devastating for me seeing her suffer.

I just think of every moment she's missed and how we've missed her.

She's gone but not forgotten...

Ella Kay born 7/14/41 died 7/18/83

Til Death Us Do Part

I, Angel take you, Jerry, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

On July 14, 1991, I said those simple words and meant them. I started dating J on April 3, 1991

Our relationship began with being introduced by a mutual friend. We were engaged 3 weeks after our first date.

6 weeks prior to our first date I had walked away from a long term relationship with someone else. We were warned to not rush into anything and take time getting to know eachother. But I knew he was the one I was meant to be with. July 14 was approaching.

Twenty-two years ago when I was 20 I married my best friend. He's the love of my life and not to sound too sappy my soul mate. We got married on what would of been my mom's 50th birthday. I made my mom part of my day because she could only be there in spirit.

A couple weeks after my wedding the ex tried to get me back by writing a 16 page letter and Leaving it at my job. He didn't know I had got married. I called and thanked him for it. He was crushed.

Our path crossed two more times but I had said goodbye months before. It must of been hard on B seeing me happy with someone else.

Our marriage has been rocky at times but we take our vows seriously. We are committed to eachother. Death will be what eventually seperates us.

My hubby was 31 here and I was 24

Just a Brutally Honest and Random Opinion about insulin usage and stupidity.

Disclaimer: As a person diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes Mellitus, I've researched this subject for my own benefit and overall health. I've been given excellent advice from others with type 1 and type 2 diabetes plus I've worked with Drs, nurses and dieticians  in the past, years before my own diagnosis. I'm not a Dr, Nurse or Dietician. I am not an expert and any advice offered should not be taken as truth because what works for me may not always work for you. Investigate or research Diabetes if you're diagnosed with it. Ask questions or talk to your Dr or experts. Talk to your pharmacists or chemists. Talk to dieticians. Ask questions!

This blog is about stupidity

I know of this woman through a co-worker of my husband. And she uses INSULIN. She was prescribed insulin. The problem is she was prescribed insulin a long time ago and doesn't have insurance so she can't afford to fill her prescription. And hasn't had additional testing.

One of her neighbors is prescribed insulin and E has been using her neighbors insulin over a year. 10u twice a day. If E is using her neighbors Insulin the neighbor It's prescribed to obviously isn't, which can be dangerous for a diabetic.

E was prescribed to use 10u of insulin BID a long time ago. A diabetics medicine needs can change. The medicine is based on  a GTT and A1C test . Medicine is prescribed either by a Family Physician or Endocrinologist.  For instance I'm on Metaforim 500 mg b.i.d. and unless my needs change I could remain on this dose . If my a1c or GTT indicates I need insulin , insulin is prescribed for me. But there's no guarantee my immediate needs for insulin will be the same in 6 months as it is right now.

People who use insulin know too high insulin can be dangerous and not enough can be lethal. Besides hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia, there is organ failure. Coma, blindness and death.

Diabetics also knows glucose control is more than medicine or insulin. Glucose control happens with proper diagnosis, diagnostic testing,  diet , exercise, weightloss and medicine.

E's a diabetic who needs insulin but never bothered to change her eating habits and is still taking 10u insulin but has spikes of more than 500. She's playing Russian Roulette with her health. 

She had a seizure yesterday. I wonder if her diabetes had anything to do with it?

Diabetes and Disability

Everyone knows if you've been following my blog that I have type 2 diabetes mellitus. It's currently uncontrolled again by poor diet choices and stress. It's time to buckle down and get back on track. My poor food choices doesn't happen too often but even with medication I'm seeing hyperglycemia . With diet and further weightloss I can avoid certain complications. And with my lower back injury some complications is likely because of decreased sensations in my left leg and feet. Besides the herniated discs I have a condition called Spondlyosis.

Spondylosis is a term referring to degenerative osteoarthritis of the joints between the center of the spinal vertebrae and/or neural foraminae. If this condition occurs in the zygapophysial joints, it can be considered facet syndrome. If severe, it may cause pressure on nerve roots with subsequent sensory and/or motor disturbances, such as pain, paresthesia, or muscle weakness in the limbs.

When the space between two adjacent vertebrae narrows, compression of a nerve root emerging from the spinal cord may result in radiculopathy (sensory and motor disturbances, such as severe pain in the neck, shoulder, arm, back, and/or leg, accompanied by muscle weakness). Less commonly, direct pressure on the spinal cord (typically in the cervical spine) may result in myelopathy, characterized by global weakness, gait dysfunction, loss of balance, and loss of bowel and/or bladder control. The patient may experience a phenomenon of shocks (paresthesia) in hands and legs because of nerve compression and lack of blood flow. If vertebrae of the neck are involved it is labelled cervical spondylosis. Lower back spondylosis is labeled lumbar spondylosis. (Source Wikipedia)

My injury is in the lumbar region . From L4- S1. The deterioration in my spine starts around L3. I've cut the bottom of my left foot repeatedly in the past without feeling it or being aware of the cut. Being diabetic this could have devastating results. I'm now careful with my feet and go barefooted less outside.

I fell last summer without warning or cause. Spondlyosis?

I've had the pins and needles for awhile ( paresthesia) but also an indicator of hyperglycemia.

It's time to save myself. Because if I don't who will?

Diabetes Update 7/7

I don't know if it was stress from the holiday or stress knowing about ongoing health issues with my family but I caved in and had one hell of a carbohydrates fest. My glucose is soaring right now and I need to get back on track.

I ate a Big Mac, 1/2 an large fries. My glucose was 270 at 10:00 on 7/6

I feel awful. I have always been a stress eater . And that hasn't changed.

If your an older follower you're aware my Mother-In-Law is terminally ill. She's on a Bipap at home and her condition is deteriorating.

There's a couple more family members struggling with major health issues. If your not a regular reader you may need to read previous blog entries to get caught up.

My brother is starting to recover after months of ER visits and 5 hospitalizations including 3 operations. He's now home on Oxygen and  has a bad infection, most likely caught in the hospital. I worry being so far away from him especially with my niece so close to delivering Levi. I need to be there but I'm needed here for my husband. And I'm needed here for my daddy.

My Dad's Older Brother had Emergency Surgery 3 weeks ago and ended up in ICU. After a week of rehab he was put in a Nursing Home yesterday on isolation on his 80th birthday. I honestly think what little family we have left down here is so minimal to care for him at home. But at the same time it irks me. I'm wondering who signed him in? No I'm not considering getting him out. It hurts me my disability would prevent me from helping with his care. I've got a low back injury that will possibly put me in a wheelchair sooner than I would like. It's just not fair!!!!! I love my Uncle D. It's just so hard knowing the care he needs is the same care I provided hundreds of others for years I can't provide. My Dad is 73 and he's not physically able now either. I'm so stressed. Please pray for me that I'm able to control my diabetes through this storm.

Weekly Post

Starting today on July 1 2013 , I will be limiting my blog posts to one a week on each particular blog.

On Mondays I will post on my Random Thoughts and Brutally Honest Thoughts blogs.

Random thoughts is about Random Personal thoughts, medical issues and my journey with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus. Unless I am having real issues I will try to limit future entries to one a week.

Brutally Honest Thoughts is about Controversial Issues and treatment of disabled people in Society.

On Thursdays I will write in my Pets Blog and Euthanasia Blog (brutally honest euthanasia).

Pets blog is about my Shih Tzu Rocky, mixed breed Rudie and my cat.

Brutally Honest Euthanasia- discusses laws , terminal illness and setting up legal documents to let wishes be known. I'm not encouraging Euthanasia with this blog but trying to understand how some make that decision.

If I continue to write or blog daily it takes hours out of each day. Hours I could be doing other things such as living my own life. It's summer and the sun is calling me.

I will blog again next Monday. See ya on 7/8