Type 2 Diabetes

Different parts of my life played a part in the diagnosis of type 2 diabetes mellitus. I could blame it on my medicine I take 6 times a day. Or the genetics and overeating.

Genetically I may of been more predisposed to develop diabetes than an average person and the extra pounds increased my odds.

But keep in mind not every overweight person will be diagnosed with diabetes. Nor will every overweight person with family history of diabetes get it. Each little factor may increase the odds but its no guarantee. Underweight and average size people can get it too. The pancreas slows down or stops the production of insulin.

The most interesting thing about genetics and diabetes , I was more likely to inherit it from my dad's side than mom's side. Genes and poor eating habits made diagnosis more likely. To be honest I miss MT DEW and my sugar filled foods. But that got me here too.

On the day of my diagnosis I weighed 158, not exactly in the obese category. I'm only big across the midsection, no where else. I'm 8lbs from an accepted BMI (body mass index). It might be on the high side of normal but still considered healthy. I plan to drop at least 18lb to get my BMI in the middle. I've got a medium size bone structure (trunk). If I lose too much I will look skeletal. Depending on how clothing is made I can wear a med- large in shirts because I'm top heavy and 6-8 in jeans. An 18 pound weight loss will put me in a size 4 and my BMI around 23-25%.

Weightloss will not cure diabetes but it should make it more manageable. There is no cure for diabetes. But it may keep me from needing insulin as long as I keep making the changes now.

My weight today: 157   BG 121

End of An Era...RIP George Jones

With the death of George Jones last weekend it's become clear an era in music is almost over. The artists of the 50's and 60's toured relentlessly sometimes doing 2 venues a day. And when they weren't touring they were recording New albums. Sometimes they released 2-3 albums a year. The amount of music George Jones released is staggering, over a span of 50 years. I read somewhere Jones released more music than anyone else in any genre. His career was troubled at times because of drug and alcohol abuse but still impressive. His voice may be silenced here on earth but we have a legacy of music to remember him by. George Jones will be missed.

Who's Going to Fill His Shoes?
________________________________________

During George Jones early career singers had a different reality than the singers of today.There was no CMT, MTV or VH1 to show video's to promote an artist. There was no internet with YouTube, Facebook , & Blogger. There was no American Idol creating superstars.

Most toured because if they weren't performing they would be easily forgotten. They played at county fairs, festival , shitty bars and larger venues. Sometimes spending years on the road.

They didn't travel with groupies or on planes. They traveled with other musicians in cars and buses. They slept where and when they could. I wonder if some of the pampered singers of today could of lived like this?

So frustrated...just want to add sugar

Why me?

Sometimes I feel like the harder I try, the higher the glucose readings. I've been watching the sugar, carbohydrates and starchy foods but even with medicine my numbers are high. I'm told Metaforim takes weeks to regulate things and perhaps I'm too impatient.

I've been eating around 1000 calories with low fats and plenty of proteins but it's hard. I've given up eating potatoes, corn, rice, breads and other carbohydrates (starch).  I've gave up so much and realize its a small sacrifice for a longer life.  I do realize in order for the Metaforim to work I need to do my part. I also know Metaforim is a starter medicine for type 2 diabetes and many have had success for years without needing other medications. But it takes Alot on my part too because I don't want to take shots later on because I didn't put forth an effort now. 

Only time will tell.

Frustrated

I'm so frustrated. My glucose rose when I slept. My first test was 181. I thought I was making progress with the HBS.

Watch your labels my fellow diabetes

A couple weeks ago I started paying closer attention to food labels closely scrutinizing foods claiming to be 100% sugar free. My skepticism paid off today examining  the nutritional information on Tic Tacs. I photographed the packaging and nutrition label. Tic Tacs the one calorie breath mint. Misprint or false advertising?

Look at the nutrition label at Sugar and Carbohydrates. Now look at ingredients. The first ingredient is sugar.

Rice Starch is a carb and fructose is sugar. Perhaps the sugar is insignificant in a few Tics Tacs but what is the actual amount of sugar in the box? For someone struggling with diabetes it could mean something.

You've now entered the seventh circle of hell known as Walmart

To make a long story short, I ran out of testing strips. Being diabetic and with such erratic levels I need to test 2-3 times a day. My levels are slowly going down with the help of medicine and diet but I still need to test. Once I stabilize I can test less but not knowing my exact number puts me in crisis mode. I'm still learning by trial and error about foods that cause major spikes in my body.

As some of you know I was recently diagnosed with Type2 diabetes. I'm new to a club I never wanted to join.  My Step- Sister M brought me some strips thinking that was what my glucose monitor took. But no such luck. So off to the seventh circle of hell we went.......

Walmart has been a positive addition to most towns but ours. Walmart ran out smaller grocery stores and variety stores because they couldn't compete. The thing that irritates me the most is they have 25 check out lanes and 2 cashiers. I normally try to give local stores my business before shopping at Walmart but tonight I had no choice. I needed strips and the small pharmacy I go to was closed . So off to Walmart I went , with my trusty phone, money and my empty strips container.

M and I was looking at testing supplies trying to find what I needed but the price was more than I was willing to pay.  I ended up buying a different monitor and 50 strips for less than what they wanted for just strips.

After getting my testing supplies sorted, I picked up some no added sugar and carbs snacks , so I can have a snack once in awhile. Plus food for the next few days so I can eat the same thing with hubby.

Almonds has recently became a favorite snack of mine because of the low sugar and carbs. Nuts also have Alot of protein which is crucial so nuts was one snack I bought. I've learned Alot reading blogs , getting general ideals what to eat.

Goodnight

Food is the enemy until we learn its purpose

Food is fuel for our body. We cannot function without food but at the same time for diabetics food can make us or break us. Without proper nutrition our bodies fail and organs become damaged. My recent diagnosis made me really think about what I put in my body. Food became more than fuel. It became a way for us to seek comfort or to celebrate. Having a bad day? Grab a Snickers, and I did. I just had to try that new item at McDONALD'S, KFC or Wendy's because it looked so delish on TV.  Or have the late night munchies? Just cross the border to Taco Bell, and we did. Taco Bell was a 5 minute walk from my door, we drove instead.

Food became a way to fellowship after church or during holidays at work. It became an outlet for grief or to celebrate life.  And I can't leave family reunions out, especially if you came from my family. There's nothing like seeing 4 conference size tables end to end heavily burdened with rich and savory food prepared by family. Our family get together meant consuming large amounts of food and being with eachother. I can see future reunions with 2 tables of sugar free cuisine and glucose monitors.

Half of my mom's brothers and sisters are gone now as is my Grandpa who was a type 2 diabetic. Over half of my grandparents kids had Diabetes Mellitus, my mom was borderline  diabetic when she passed away. I dearly miss my mom and wish I could of inherited something from her besides Diabetes. Perhaps her Brown eyes or her height, she was 5'9.  Or even her dark brown hair, I would gladly give up my blond hair if I didn't have diabetes.

Food has become more than it was intended to be. Being diabetic I'm told to avoid sugar and high carbs. To eat potatoes, corn, pasta, grains and bread in moderation. To eat plenty of protein and veggies. There really isn't Alot I can eat without glucose spikes. But the key point I want to make is portion control and moderation.

That's what she said

If I got that fat I would starve myself.

In my defense, I only weighed 190 at my largest. But that's what she said. It upset me and then angered me. The anger was one of the catalyst that triggered me to change. The second trigger is my friend and I getting our sugar/cholesterol checked in 2007 . Our sugar was Normal but my cholesterol was not.  My friend is now IDDM (INSULIN DEPENDENT DIABETES MELLITUS) and I am a Type2 diabetic that was prescribed METAFORIM.  What a difference 6 years makes.

My sister said those cruel words to get me to change. Her fear of me dying an early death prompted the wake up call. Our mom died when she was my age now, 42.  She had a lot of medical issues but obesity got her in the end. The primary cause of death was CVA (stroke) secondary cause of death
Morbid obesity. Mom struggled with her weight for years, and now 3 of her 4 children joined that struggle. My sister struggles with her weight also but she has controlled hers with diet pills and not eating.

For me especially now diet pills is not an option. Diet, brisk walks and Metaforim is my option. It's my life and if I am to live I must make changes. Because allowing my numbers to remain high can cause lasting organ damage. This is my reality but I choose not to be defined by my diagnosis.

My whole sugar dilemma

Years ago when I was working we would periodically check our sugar while waiting for morning report. Even though I had sipped on Mt Dew my sugar was in the 30s. Was this a prequel to the coming diagnosis? I was in my 20s at the time and maybe my body produced too much insulin before going kaput. At the time I could function on low blood sugar, sometimes working 12-16 hours a day. I stayed around 140lbs for 5 years. Huge for today's standards but a perfect weight for my height. In the 6th year of marriage I gained an additional 20 lbs.

A lot happened in year 7 of my marriage, and almost 9 years of my job. My husband and I briefly seperated for 2 weeks. We moved back to town. I found out Strep Throat can go to New levels. And I hurt my back . 1998 was such a grand year. One I hope to never forget and at the same time forget it happened. Other than reuniting with hubby the year was shit.

With medical help , therapy, And new limitations I continued to work until 2001. The next two years I had surgery and was on and off bed rest, had therapies and gained weight, lost weight and gained again. By time I finished Work Hardening I was down to 150 and remained the same until starting college. My first 3 years of college I gained 40#. I ballooned to 190, the gain was physically noticeable for me and others. During my last year of college, two significant things happened that made me change my habits . My sister Deb made a cruel comment regarding my weight. I was oblivious to the comment until my hubby told me on the way home. I cried the three hour trip home. The cruel comment was a wake up and a high cholesterol test was the push towards better health.

I started watching each bite I ate with scrutiny, and eliminated a lot of fats. I started walking daily and twice a day on the days I didn't have class. Some exercise isn't safe for me because of my back injury but walking is okay. I lost my weight plus a few extra pounds. I looked and felt great. My waist reappeared.

During my time after college my weight would fluctuate during seasons. I'm smaller in summer, 10-15 lbs heavier during fall and winter March-May is my slim down months. It's April 26th and I've got 10-15lbs to go , plus Type2 Diabetes. Gone is sugary drinks and Alot of starch. Gone is Alot of processed foods. Gone is Alot of carbs. Gone is my beloved Coke and Mt Dew. Gone is 1000 calories a day.

The rest of my life I need to watch what I eat every day, take Metaforim. Weightloss of 10-15lbs will not resolve this but will make it more manageable. Along with a healthier diet  and Metaforim I should be fine.

Wow the over vigilant paranoid testing makes sense now

It all makes sense now. I do have Type 2 diabetes. My genes screwed me along with 10-15 unwanted pounds. So carrying 10-15 lbs with my height is not good. I wear a size 7-8 jeans And medium- large shirt for my "girls" but I'm not obese.  I'm 5'5". I'm not huge, I'm average.

Before I got married I was a size 0, and was constantly asked if I was anorexic. 103# with my bone structure made others think I was a stick insect. I'm 8# from a perfect and healthy BMI. I'm 8lb, yes I said 8# overweight. 8 Pounds, is not exactly the culprit to blame.

Type 2 Diabetes

I'm diagnosed. The paranoia makes sense. I'm diabetic. I been prescribed Metaforim 500mg bid

My head doesn't feel right

My sugar is going higher. I'm leaving for Dr soon

I am giving in. Tomorrow I seek help

I can't keep ignoring HBS like this

Why do I refuse to hear the final verdict

By not officially getting diagnosed does that make my lack of insulin less real? My spikes continue to get higher even though I am watching eat bite I eat with vigilance. Resisting sugar and carbohydrates. Starch is almost non-existing in my diet. But yet the numbers are 2-3 times higher than normal. My husband believes if I eat healthier this will resolve itself. I've eliminated many things from my diet that causes glucose to elevate but I still get these ridiculous high numbers.  My husband does not understand high blood sugar can damage organs and can kill. Low blood sugar can kill. Maybe his denial is way of coping with me having this. Maybe he's scared, I know I am and I haven't got the final verdict yet or even appeared before the judge (Dr). My husband has it in his head my reluctance to eat anything with sugar is a way to lose weight. Sure I can stand to shed a few pounds but I'm not obese. I feel bad that I yelled at him last night, "Too much sugar can kill me." My future is frequent testing and insulin. I just hope the diabetes can be controlled with pills and not injections.

Diabetes isn't a death sentence, most people live full lives as long as It's controlled and they follow medical advice. Right now my numbers are erratic because my body is not producing adequate insulin. I've been reluctant to seek help because once I get diagnosed it will be more real than the 351 I just tested and like many Americans I don't have health insurance. I could go through the ER because they will be legally obligated to treat me until I'm deemed stable. My high blood sugar is unstable and once I start insulin there is the danger of going too low.

I dread the future, most likely my future ,of hypodermic needles and insulin bottles.

I'm still new to this world but I do know my blood sugar drops 5-10 an hour between meals. I did a 12 hour fast and still had high numbers, not much lower than 12 hours before.  That is my reality. I'm afraid of eating.

Things that make you go hmmmm....diabetes mellitus.

For several years I've been prescribed Nucynta for low back pain and Spondlyosis. I've had surgery and although the surgery was successful at the time , it was not a permanent fix. I will continue to get worse as I age. There's always a chance of more surgery& in the future or me ending up in a wheelchair. Before the operation the feeling in my left foot was not the greatest.  I cut the bottom of my foot without feeling it. At that time it didn't concern me as much, now is a different story. Even though I haven't officially been diagnosed, diabetics must be careful with their feet.

When I was prescribed Nucynta, very little information was known about it. The papers given at the pharmacy had just a few lines and I could find very little information online. More and more information is available years later. One of the most uncommon side affects of Nucynta is pancreatitis. If left untreated pancreatitis can cause diabetes mellitus. So now I question my Medicine, genetics and diet. It could be one of these thing.

This is my reading this morning, 256. I'm consistently high in the morning. The second reading is after dinner. The 336 is the last reading.

Abortion and incompatible with Life

For over a year I've been watching videos and reading blogs of families who been asked to terminate pregnancies because their child was labeled as "incompatible with life".

Only a small group chose life when faced with their child's diagnosis. Each milestone made in utero is celebrated, each day carried is another memory and closer to the end with some diagnosis. While some mothers celebrate each passing day, others dread the birth because the birth means death. The baby is alive and well ,until the labor and delivery. The mother's body is acting as an incubator and keeps the baby safe.

Most women faced with the conditions "Incompatible To Life" have two options. The mother can terminate the pregnancy by abortion or inducing earlier . Or the mother can carry to term. Either choice the mother makes is difficult and society judges the decision. It's sad when others judge the mother's beliefs if she chooses to terminate. By making that choice doesn't mean she doesn't believe in God, she just might be emotionally fragile.

It would be so difficult to carry a child full term that will die. But at the same time how can an abortion be considered while the child seems very much alive? 

Someone dear to me had to make that choice, 16 years ago.  Her choice was to end the pregnancy, I think the baby had anencephaly. Her decision wasn't easily made, she struggled and prayed for days. In the end abortion was what was best for her and her family. Even though she aborted I do believe God has forgiven her and she's forgiven herself for making that choice. She suffered from depression a few years after she made her "choice". Even if she carried to term there's no guarantee she would not have suffered depression after the loss.

She wasn't some college kid who got knocked up and aborted a healthy child or a teen sleeping around without taking precautions. She was married and her pregnancy was planned .And it must have been devastating to make the decision she did. Years later she's at peace knowing she made the right choice for her.

When I first learned of the abortion I was upset. I've always been pro-life , supporting the cause financially when I could and it was incomprehensible for me to end a pregnancy.  Once I knew why I could grasp why this happened. After learning more about anencephaly, I feel her decision was a hard but loving choice. Has God and Jesus forgave her? I believe so if she asked. Jesus forgave his persecutors while being nailed to the cross and from the Cross.

There is so many conditions deemed "Incompatible With Life" that encourages physicians to suggest abortion instead of continuing the pregnancy. But with earlier medical intervention some of these babies can survive, such as Trisomy 13 and 18.  Some Drs feel its unethical to intervene so the lack of compassion hastens the death. It's sad.  The children who do survive are fortunate their parents were able to find specialist willing to treat the child.

In conditions such as Anencephaly only a small amount will survive pregnancy or birth. And then it is a matter of minutes, hours and days. Some Drs and people might say the same about Trisomy babies , but I believe each life has a purpose.  There is hope with some prenatal diagnosis such as Trisomy 13 and 18.

The hopes and dreams during the beginning of the pregnancy are squashed during the ultrasound. Pretty soon if given a poor prenatal diagnoses, the parents dream of just getting to hold their child.

I am still pro-life but feel there is some circumstances that hope no longer exists.

So frustrated, why is it so high when I haven't ate?

Woke up this morning and it was twice as high as it should be,  232. This was before eating anything and had not ate for 12 hours.  By time I ate 2 pieces of whole wheat bread and an egg, I was awarded with 317. Yes a 317.  I had to eat something before taking my pain medicine for my back. If I didn't eat I would get sick. My medicine makes me sleepy, so I took a nap and woke up to a 169.  Other than what I ate earlier, I've had 2 packs of Diamond almonds. Each pack had 2g sugar, low carbs and proteins.

Until I'm properly diagnosed I will continue to test multiple times a day . My blood glucose is very erratic and off the charts. 
A healthy salad might skyrocket my glucose this evening. I am beginning to wonder if my body is still producing insulin or it has made its final bow.

I did eat half of Western Salad and my glucose was 230

Day 8 of restricting sugar

I've been doing so good restricting sugar and starch but the carbs are killing me and making my glucose so erratic. My numbers are so unpredictable, almost double and triple above normal. 

I'm beginning to recognize my glucose is above 280 without testing because of the fuzziness in my head & really bad cotton mouth.

Regardless of what I've eaten and how little it was I continue to see high numbers. I tested my glucose 5 times today.  The first time I tested today was around 9:00 a.m. , it was 170. Another high reading and I hadn't ate anything .

My sugar did drop to 50 today but I finished the day off at 304 I know I can't do this alone.  I need help. Watching what I eat and restricting sugar intake is only awarded with high glucose levels.

I ate a southwestern salad with grilled chicken for dinner. The dressing was low calorie and low fat but had 3g of suger. I ate around 1,000 calories today.

For breakfast I had 2 slices of wholewheat toast & 1 tablespoon of peanut butter. Lunch 2 small slices of pizza. I also drank 2 servings of Diet Dr Pepper, which has no calories, sugar and carbohydrates.

I am afraid to eat anymore and I'm so hungry. I need to get my calories back up without causing a major spike with my glucose.

Uncontrolled Diabetes can be fatal.

This week I need to.....
* call and set up a Drs appointment

*see how much the appointment will cost since I will need to pay cash

* see how much a fasting blood sugar test cost with the Dr or at the laboratory.

Oh dear...it's still high

Such a disappointment after a full week of watching every bite I eat and very little sugar I'm still at 296. What the hell? I am thinking I'm going to need insulin. It almost seems hopeless . And It's becoming more apparent I need help. I have diabetes and no insurance.

Another Hollywood Celebrity Plans to Fly the Coop

Nick Lachey, former reality star and member of 98 Degrees, plans to raise his son Cameron in Cincinnati Ohio. The comments on People's online site were for the most part positive with a few with negativity.

One commenter said why Cincinnati, there's no jobs there?

Lachey was raised in Cincinnati, his family is there. He can raise his kid(s) in peace or hold his child in public without a camera constantly shoved in his face. His family can have a normal life without the intrusion of paparazzi.

98 Degrees will be touring this summer so work was not the motive for the impending move.

6 days of Not Alot of sugar

To be perfectly honest I've had small amounts of sugar because everything contains sugar and its almost impossible to be 100% sugar free.......

Fresh fruit  in its natural form and most vegetables contain sugar. It might only be a small amount but the sugar is present. There is no way around it. For example my husband bought Fresh Express Spring Mix (salad) that had carrots and radish. In order to make a decent salad I normally use 1/3 or 1/2 the bag. The salad already contains 6g of sugar before the dressing or anything else is added. The lite oriental ginger dressing has 3g of sugar.  By time I eat the salad I've consumed 10g of sugar.  Another example is Healthy Choice meals.  My thoughtful husband has been buying me these meals. They have less calories and lower fat but don't assume that means less sugar. Last night's Salisbury Steak meal with a few tiny potatoes, flavorless green beans and 2 tablespoons of apple's has 18g of sugar.  For one  healthy meal I consumed 28g of sugar. Eating 2-3 meals a day plus snacks I'm easily eating 100g of sugar a day. 100g of sugar eating healthy?  Sure I'm consuming less fat and calories a day, but I'm still getting sugar and carbohydrates.

I have learned even if something says sugar free it's full of carbohydrates. Which can be just as bad as sugar for diabetics. 2 Russell Stover Sugar Free Peanut Butter Cups has around 18 carbs and A little less calories than Reeses . No wonder some of my friends have major spikes in their glucose every month, even though they eat right. I'm told by family to avoid carbohydrates and sugar, to eat more proteins to counter act the carbs. To not eat 2 starches (starches are sugar) in the same meal such as potatoes and corn. That pasta has carbs & sugar, the sauce contains sugar. I guess me and eating in moderation need to become acquainted.

I guess when my diagnosis is confirmed I will ask for sample meal plans. To avoid dangerous spikes in glucose. And will keep a journal of what I've eaten along with testing 2-3 times a day to avoid problems. And will continue to read labels.

Love and health

You were there first time I stumbled
Will you be there, each time I fall
Will  you care for me forever
Darling promise you will love me most of all

You can count on me
I'll be true
Do you feel the same way I do
When times get hard
Will you see me through
What I need to know is, can I count on you

When the years have turned my hair to silver
Will you still wear that band of gold
Say you'll be here always beside me
Will I still have your hand to hold

You can count on me.......

Simple words to a simple but beautiful song by McBride and the Ride.  A song from the time my husband and I began our life . A song enjoyed by a 20 year old and 27 year old in 1991. Just 3 weeks after meeting , we became engaged. I was barely 20 when I committed my life to him. We married on what would've been my Mom's 50th birthday, July 14th.  These simple words to this song still have alot of meaning for us.

My handsome man has more silver in his hair than Brown and my blond has random silver strands. Each of my silver was earned because of health crisis and accidents.

We take our wedding vows seriously. Alot of people don't these days. But we do. I believe death will be the only thing to seperate us.

We've stayed true to eachother through good times and bad. Through sickness and health.

I've waited (& held his hand) during his upper GI, Colonoscopy, food poisoning, carpal tunnel surgery, chronic pain and seen a car fall on him. He's been there through my Tachycardia Episodes (my heart beats too fast), oral surgery, ear infections, pneumonia and my back surgery. Diabetes is part of our next journey together.

He's so supportive with my latest health crisis as I have been with his through the years. I was fortunate to have found him early in life. We are eachother's everything.

22 years later .... I still have his hand to hold, while we learn to cope with our changing health as we get older.

This is us 21 years ago.

Genetics is One Thing I Cannot Ignore

I'm beginning to think my genes make me more likely to develop diabetes than most people. That statistics say genetics play a part in developing Diabetes. And It's not just not 1-2 or even 3-4 family members with Diabetes. It's 20+ , it might even be closer to 30.  Over 20+  family members who share at least half of my genes have Diabetes on my Mom's side.

My Grandpa (type 2)  had diabetes and at least 6 (of 10)  of his children had it. My Mom would of most likely been diagnosed with Diabetes but she died at the age of 42.  My Aunt B (type 1) told me my Mom was "borderline diabetic". My mom died when I was 12 but I remember she had the "crazy thirst", like I do now. My brother has that thirst too and a few other symptoms. He's being tested Monday. His blood sugar caused concern during a recent work physical, it was 156.  Mine was 407 on Sunday. 

Obesity plays a part in the development of diabetes, I am not obese. I'm 10-20 lbs heavier than a year ago. Last summer I spent half of it in a 2 piece bathing suit. I wore a size 6 in jeans, I'm in a size 8 now. My BMI  (Body Mass Index) was 25 a few months ago.

Realistically the odds were stacked against me. Genetics might have sealed my fate along with poor food choices. I was less likely not to develop diabetes. Once I'm diagnosed I do know where I will purchase insulin and testing supplies..... Walmart (the seventh circle of Hell) . As much as I detest Walmart, they do try to help the uninsured by keeping the prices down on medicine and testing supplies. With medical attention and better eating habits my life will be long.

This is a picture of my nieces (fraternal twins). They are my brother's grand daughters. I wonder which one will develop diabetes? One, both or neither?

Day 4 sugar free

I was truly tempted today to eat a donut stick... I've got an insatiable sweet tooth and a box of donut sticks (on top of the fridge) is waiting to be eaten. The fuzziness in my head is finally clearing  and my finger is healing, so consumption of anything with sugar is not a good thing. Ironically the one who tested my sugar also brought the donut sticks. I need my husband to eat or hide them, because my will power is "shakey". And until I get my glucose monitor and get tested I'm a walking time bomb. It's a wonder I've been able to function at all since I tested high a year ago and ignored it.  The amount of sugar I've consumed is staggering. From December- April I drank 1-2 gallons of sugary drinks and water a day, It's a wonder I didn't get sick from an electrolyte imbalance.  Mt Dew and Coke have been my beverages of choice for years.

Once the crazy thirst began, I ignored it. My big brother mentioned to me that sounds like Diabetes, and I ignored it. I continued to eat and drink what I wanted. It's really a wonder I didn't slip into a coma. God must have been watching out for me.

The sad reality is I've ignored all the warning signs and a few signs I wasn't aware of that is associated with diabetes, that I was having. I knew about the thirst and frequent urination. Constant hunger with weight loss, sleeping alot, and a few other symptoms that would be TMI to discuss on a public blog. I've had slow healing wounds.

It kind of blows my mind when I seen the whole list and realized I have 95% of the symptoms for high blood sugar. Confusion is one symptom I don't have, at least I don't think I have.  Maybe I've had moments of confusion without realizing it.  Would I know if I'm confused? I hope I would know.

Attached is a picture of my middle finger. It looks gross but its healing.

Day 3- Sugar Free

Eating healthy has never been easy for me and healthier foods were scarce in our household in the beginning. Sounds strange saying that in the Land of Milk and Honey, but it's true. We often made food that cost little to buy but I didn't deny myself Mountain Dew or Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies. Beans, Pasta and eggs were bought and ate often. Macaroni and cheese, was a household staple. Potatoes can be cooked a dozen ways and was cheap so we bought a lot , potatoes have a lot of starch.   During the summers we would have alot of fresh produce that was grown locally.

Processed foods and food generally bad for you cost less.  Even today eating healthy can get expensive. We do buy alot of fresh veggies now because some of things we like is available all the time. Years ago if an item was grown in the USA, half of the year it was unavailable and you paid a king's ransom for it when it was. Did 22 years of poor eating habits cause this? Genetics and food is the culprit.

Not having sugar is harder than I thought but I have no choice. My next priority is diagnosis and medicine. We are purchasing a glucose meter to monitor me until I can get to the Dr.

I'm scared

The thought of having diabetes scares me . I also know limiting sugar and better control of my diet will make things better healthwise.  Most people can have long lives without amputations . Why can't I persevere as I've always done?  Diabetes isn't a death sentence, why make it one? And yet I haven't taken the next step to be diagnosed. Sure I can change my eating habits to avoid problems but I would remain a ticking time bomb.

The thing that scares me the most is I've had high blood sugar for close to a year and ignored it . Did I do lasting damage ? Is all this happening because of  hereditary or something I've done? Both sides of my family have had diabetes, alot of diabetes. I'm sure my persistent sweet tooth, sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits contributed to this. But maybe because of genetics I'm predisposed to diabetes. Type 1, Type 2 and Juvenile Onset diabetes is common on my Mom's side. Type 2 on Dad's side.

Being stubborn and having no insurance is always been an excuse for me not to seek medical care  , even when simple illness becomes life threatening. Sometimes my husband has been able to make me get help, other times I've flat out refused.
Things could be worse though. I could have something with no hope or cure. With insulin and better eating habits my life can continue.

Diabetes and me

Perhaps writing this blog is premature because I have yet to be diagnosed with diabetes melitus. To be honest I'm scared . Seeing my blood sugar flash 407 on a glucose monitor confirmed by suspicions. I've had a crazy thirst for 4 months, and alot of other symptoms. The wound on my hand that won't heal and the fuzziness in my head has me concerned more than anything. I also know if I go to the hospital now. I will be admitted. I'm scared but hate hospitals. I haven't had sugar for 12 hours but the fuzziness is getting worse in my head so the blood sugar level is most likely rising.

I wonder if my pancreas is producing insulin and how much. This blog entry is short but I'm not feeling good.

Lawnmower Man and Others

It's sad to see an Era end in our city especially since Lawnmower man died. Marcus (Lawnmower Man's real name) was the last of our special needs population to go to a better place. His plastic garden has been discarded and his belongings were left for trash pickup. Unlike a few of the others, Marcus had family and had never been in the old Epileptic Hospital. Marcus was laid to rest at his family cemetery by his parents, distant cousins acted as pall bearers.

Lawnmower man got the nickname because he would push a mower around town wearing a three piece suit. Often he would carry a gas can and broom, when pushing the mower. To this day I don't know if the mower actually worked, maybe pushing the mower gave him purpose.

His sister lived close by and helped pay his monthly expenses for his apartment. She took him shopping, appointments and whatever he needed. He wasn't alone in the world but most assumed he was. Nobody bothered or harassed him though.  Marcus like the rest of our special needs population integrated successfully in the world and was treated respectfully.

Quite a few of our special needs population came from the old Epileptic hospital or developmental center when the institute began to see reforms. The facility began to work integrating those with fewer physical disabilities into the community. With the help of attorneys, physicians, and shopkeepers most spent 20 years or so living on their own. Ray, Ernie, Lois and countless others are now gone.

I met Ernie when I was 13. He reminded me as the white haired man from Poltergeist. He was very polite and well mannered. Even though he had money to pay his expenses he worked into his 80s. His words was limited but greeted everyone with a smile. Sometimes it was easy to forget he spent over half of his life hidden in an institution. He died a few years ago, he was 91.

Lois was well loved by everyone and like Ernie she worked.  I seen her often helping our local shopkeepers sit up displays or straightening shelves.  She enjoyed her days being part of the community. Our local businesses still miss her.

It's so strange going to town now with no Ernie, Lois or Marcus.

We could learn from the people who say little but find joy in the small things...well It's just a thought.

I wonder what if....

Being the youngest of four ..I sometimes wonder what if...

My life happened because of rubber. And before you think alot of pregnancies happen because of failed birth control methods , for me its not the case. My birth was the result of my dad's car needing Tires. Yes I know that seems strange, but its true....this is my story.

My parents met when they were teenagers at my grandfather's first Church. My mom was 15 and my dad was 16. They  only saw eachother on Sundays but remained together. In 1958 my Dad joined the Air Force and two years later my mom left for college.  Even spending a year apart did not hinder their intentions so in 1961 they married. They both wanted children immediately but it was not to be.

When my eldest brought was born in 1964 he had life threatening issues. The issues was so bad he was baptized as a Catholic (my parents were Baptist)  so he could have the Last Rites. He was taken to Children's hospital and my dad went with him for the operation. My brother J was born with tumors on his lungs. To save his life ,half of his left lung was removed , he was 2 hours old. The youngest child at that time to survive a surgery like that at that particular Children's hospital.

My parents were told they should not have anymore children because of the risk. So they became foster parents and over 2 years later my mom conceived again. After my brother  D was born , the Dr said no more. Before D even took his first  step my sister was on the way. After she was born, their family was complete. 

My parents decided my dad should get fixed because a vasectomy is less invasive compared to a tubal and the recovery time is less. My dad began saving for his vasectomy. When he almost had enough saved he had a dilemma, he needed tires.

Without decent tires he couldn't go to work and he had a family to take care of.  And had two houses to pay for. He chose the tires and shortly later I was born, obviously or I would not be blogging now.

I'm the third child born after the Dr first said no more. My parents 4th child , her longest pregnancy and easiest birth. She carried me 42 weeks and had 15 minutes labor.  After me my parents finally said no more..

Thank goodness for tires...

I always say I'm a Goodyear baby...maybe I owe my existence to Firestone or maybe even Michelin.......

We are all on loan from God..my thoughts on abortion .

For the most part, I am pro-life. I believe in the Sanctity of Life. I've always been anti-abortion, often supporting the cause financially when I still worked. I think abortion is wrong in most cases, when there is hope of a healthy child and survival. If there's more than 5% chance of survival , a pregnancy should be continued. Even some of the diagnosis that declare a baby "Incompatible with Life" have a 10% chance of survival. 10% doesn't seem like a big number but if 10% survived then they are not incompatible with life. Some learn to walk, to learn other things and to communicate.

I just wonder if the survival rate would improve if physicians and specialists would be more willing to intervene? Often the most life threatening complications are easily fixed if the Specialists are willing. One mother traveled 1400 miles to get her daughter the surgery she needed and a Dr to do it, she's now 3. Another family was sent home with their child on hospice care when she was born, she's now a teen. Her medical help is a feeding tube and she is included in everything her family does. I'm sure there has been medical interventions through the years but both are compatible with life.

And there is the fatal defects with 100% fatality rate which means 0% survival outside of the womb. But given the chance some mothers CHOOSE to carry to term for for the chance to hold their baby while others choose to end the pregnancy. In cases like this the parents should do what's right for them. Regardless of their choice they should not be condemned for it.

It takes a lot of strength to decide to end a pregnancy of a wanted child and courage to continue the pregnancy. Most who continue the pregnancy are aware that time with their child is brief. Most are guided by religion and hope.

And hope is always a beautiful thing.

Drugs and Junkies part 2

Children are the true victims of drug abuse. Often they end up in foster care or being raised by other family members. Sometimes they are born addicted and suffer withdrawal symptoms their first weeks of life. It can happen anywhere and it happened here.

Years ago I remember sitting with my husband at his Drs office and noticed a woman holding a crying newborn. As much as the woman tried to comfort the baby, the baby continued to cry. The woman apologized to everyone in the waiting room, explaining that her new foster child was withdrawing from Methamphetamines. Her explanation left me speechless because something like this happened someplace else not here, not in our town. 

A few weeks later a man was tied up and beat to death in his own home. His house was ransacked and things stolen, including prescription drugs. It was these two moments that opened my eyes. It made me realize our community was forever changed. Even some of our high county officials (A Municipal Court Judge was addicted to cocaine.) , had personal battles with addiction. This level of addiction has been happening elsewhere for years, not here.

Years ago I watched a program on HBO about Black Tar Heroin at the time it seemed surreal and unbelievable. It's a sad but fascinating program that followed a small group of young adults through addiction. It took years to reach our region but it's here now and it scares me.

Our local people now addicted to heroin are the ones who once abused OxyContin and other pills with codeine. Consider the cost of OxyContin an Oxy 80 cost $60-80, most change to Heroin because it's cheaper.

Methadone and Suboxone are prescribed for opiate addiction but our local junkies abuse these too. Suboxone is available in a pill and strip. The strip and packaging is coded so the addict can't sell without being traced back to the person who was prescribed the medication. The coding is ingenious but our junkies pay it no mind.

There is no drug to help with Methamphetamine addiction and the wasted life it leaves behind........

Drugs and Junkies

Drugs will be civilization's Downfall !  Years ago in small town America ,violent crime was almost non-existent. Our local news consisted of the weather, sports and community events.  Occassionly there was crime ,one murder every 2-3 years ,but locking the doors was optional because most people (at the time) respected other people's property. My husband would leave the keys in the ignition of our car. It was never bothered nor was anything ever stolen out of it. We would also go shopping and leave our house unlocked, nothing was ever stolen.  In a way our community was like "Pleasantville", nothing bad ever happened here. In all honesty parts of our town still looks like a Norman Rockwell painting.

Seventeen years ago our town's residents was introduced to the wonder drug "OxyContin". The time release narcotic pain reliever. It would take a few years for the drug to take hold and when it did the results were deadly. There would be a new addiction that we had never seen around here.

Sure we had a few potheads, but most kept to themselves. Marijuana was plentiful or could easily be grown around here. I never dabbled in pot myself but considering the drugs out there today, is pot really that bad?

Seriously, pot is grown in the ground. Not created by in some lab by scientists. Or created in a makeshift lab with items purchased (or stolen) from department and hardware stores. Chemicals that are toxic by themselves before combining with other poisons to create a deadly and highly addictive drug.  So is Pot really that bad?

The people I know that smoked marijuana DID NOT move on to stronger drugs nor did they deprive their families. OxyContin would soon change our town! Our sleepy picturesque town was rudely awoken.  The days of trusting others is over. OxyContin, heroin and Methamphetamine has taken up residence. And it has taken prisoners in our historical town. Because of the plague of drug abuse we finally caught up with rural America.

Good kids from good families, now have lengthy arrest records. Middle Class families have had to sell their homes to pay for rehab, businesses lost.  Drug abuse and violence touches everyone's life directly or indirectly.

Children are the true victims...

Thanks for the reviews...RIP Roger Ebert.

Today the literary world and the entertainment industry lost a valued critic. In 2002 Ebert was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer. After the cancer was successfully removed he underwent four weeks of radiation therapy and remained a valued film critic. He didn't miss one film opening during this time.

Roger Ebert lost his voice in 2006 when cancerous tissue was removed from his right jaw including some of the jaw bone he still had plenty to say. Roger Ebert returned to his job in 2007.

On April 23 2007, the Sun-Times reported that, when asked about his decision to return to the limelight, Ebert remarked, " We spend too much time hiding illness."

April 2, 2013 Ebert announced he was taking. "Leave of Presence" from his duties due to a fractured hip he suffered a few months earlier was determined to be cancerous and he would be receiving Radiation Treatment. He said, " I'll be able to do at last what I've always fantasized about doing: reviewing the movies I want to review."

Even through years of surgery , disability and radiation treatments, Roger Ebert found humor in life.

Roger Ebert began his career with the Chicago Sun-Time as a professional critic in 1967 and continued until his death. Ebert was the first film critic to be awarded a Pulitzer Prize. In 2005 Ebert was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

From 1978 to 1999, Ebert was joined with his rival Gene Siskel to host Siskel and Ebert and The Movies. Sometimes they would trade humorous barbs and spar on the air. Their partnership ended in 1999 when Siskel succumbed to brain cancer.

Roger Ebert I give you two thumbs up for a life well lived.

Trisomy and Child Loss

Lately I've read a lot of blogs about several different subjects, but the stories of Trisomy 13 and  Trisomy 18 seem to grab my attention.  I'm drawn to the small rays of hope that appears during the births and finding  joy in the moment of sorrow.

I can't imagine the excitement leading up to the ultrasound that determines the gender . I can't imagine the heartbreak some feel after being told the devastating news. I'm not going to say I understand because I don't, how could I?

I can't imagine dreaming of a future for the life growing inside, just to be told he/she will most likely die soon after birth, if they don't die before. Each second and minute of the pregnancy becomes more precious. Each movement and kick treasured. Soon the parents dream of just getting to hold the baby one time before he/she leaves.

The steel resolve of the parents to Hope and give Thanks for each moment and breath their baby takes knowing it could be the last.

Hope is a beautiful thing.....

***My Grandmother Josephine lost 6 at birth or shortly after during the depression. All were born at home with a midwife.  Esther Mae born September 23, 1923 lived 8 short hours cause of death listed as Asthma. A diagnosis given by a small country Dr in a small country town. One lived a few hours while the others were born still. My Dad knows a couple more of the names and dates but no records exists now. No photographs. Nobody is alive today who remembers these precious souls. My grandparent's children who are alive today were born later in life.***

Last week on the way to witness a miracle we were talking about...

Last week my friend Jessica and I got into conversation about Down Syndrome. Jessica like my niece was told the baby she was carrying at the time had Down Syndrome and was referred to a specialist. When my friend seen the specialist she was advised to abort the fetus because he did have down Syndrome.

The specialist told my friend typically 90% of the patients she seen chose abortion and the 10% who carry to term wished they had ended the pregnancy. After reading many blogs I disagree with the specialist. I've read about parents who fought for their kids and fight daily to make sure their children aren't denied the right to medical care.

My friend chose to continue her pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy little boy. My friend's life was in danger during this pregnancy  and delivery but she chose her child's life instead of her own. Her son is a normal , active toddler with no down syndrome or any disability.

My niece's pregnancy was high risk also and she was carrying twins. Just the slightest thing started contractions so she spent several months in bed. During one of the ultrasounds the Dr noticed how the twins were developing and told my niece he suspected the girls had Down Syndrome. After being advised to terminate the pregnancy my niece changed Drs. And refused any further testing.

The twins were born at 32 weeks gestation and any medical issue they had a first was caused by being so premature. They both had ng tubes to help with feeding and only needed Oxygen for a few hours.  They did spend a few weeks in the hospital's NICU but that's typical for any baby being born so premature.

The girls are healthy and happy now . The Dr was wrong. Even if he was right she would of kept her babies.

With hope and early intervention kids with Down Syndrome can accomplish anything, just at their own pace.  Some people with down syndrome can live independently, hold a job, learn, drive a car and marry. One even climbed Mt Everest.

Others might require some or alot of assistance throughout their lives. It just depends on the disability.

Ode to the Bump

The Paparazzi is out full force trying to get a glance of the elusive baby bumps. Even though half of the pregnant celebrities have willingly gave interviews about their impending miracles including photographs of their changing bodies. Some celebrities blog about their pregnancies openly online on People including lots of photos. But apparently that is not enough for paid stalkers.

Many have been photographed shopping or leaving exercise sessions. It's a wonder they aren't waiting outside their Obstetrician's office. Don't laugh it has happened in the past! Sometimes the Paparazzi know more of the impending birth  than the expected mother herself. Or they think they do.  And what they don't know will be printed in 16 pt. font on the cover of all tabloids.

The paparazzi is missing out on valuable information left in the trash at the Celebrities OB GYN office.  There it is, in the dumpster waiting to be their next story a single pubic hair stuck to the white paper that's used on the examination table and even latex gloves used during the examination. Such a valuable story, waiting to be told!  The sad thing is if the Paparazzi could tie a single pubic hair or latex glove to a celebrity it would make the cover. I can see the headlines now So and So lost a pubic Hair during their vaginal exam! Or Latex Glove tied to so and so's latest Pap Smear......more of the story on page 12.

Seriously folks women having babies isn't a new concept. If a woman gains a few extra pounds or doesn't change her style of dress  when she's pregnant why is it so news worthy? People Magazine used to be a respected news source but yet it publishes stories like , "Kim Kardashian changes clothes three times in one day" or " Britney Spears attends Easter service with her family."  Tonight's lunacy article is , "Suri Cruise Gets Bangs. " Suri isn't a celebrity but her parents are, she was going to visit a friend when she was photographed. Suri is a 6 year old.

In defense of Britney she went home to Louisiana to spend time with her family on Easter. Regardless of her past problems why is attending church away from Hollywood so important. As for Kim Kardashian ,she's very pregnant and still wearing clothes she thinks she looks good in. Every day People post nonsense stories about her fashion sense or lack of. Why is her pregnancy so news worthy? Then again Kim thrives on the attention without the attention she wouldn't have a career. And she would be just another pregnant woman.

Woman have been having babies since the beginning of time. To most women pregnancy is a sacred and beautiful thing. There is a human life growing inside and the new life is causing the bump.

PS people had an article about Megan Fox taking her son out in public but it was her husband pushing son in stroller . And the picture was taken of her baby with a Telephoto lense.