Happiness

I have been thinking of happiness lately and what brings me ultimate joy or emotional turmoil. I'm a happy person most of the time often times finding joy in the smaller things. Family and the friends in my life make me happy. Watching my dogs play makes me happy and playing with my dogs makes me happier. Knowing my niece is safe and off drugs makes me happy. Seeing my family pull together and risk angering my niece made me happy but scared. Our love for her was that strong we were willing to do anything to save her. If you read my previous entries you already know my niece went willingly and it made us happy she was willing to save herself.

The ordeal my niece went through was traumatic and devastating for all of us. Not knowing if she was dead or alive for four days was an emotional rollercoaster. Her reappearance ragged and half starved made us happy. Knowing she was safe made us happy.

Physical possessions mean very little to me so they don't make me happy unless a memory is attached to it. The small things that mean the most have emotional ( romantic) attachment that I will not share with anyone. I can't. Everyone has a secret part of themselves that very few are welcome in. I have rediscovered that secret place in myself through a lifelong friendship. This friendship brought back intense memories. Through this friend I have learned to forgive and come to terms with the past.

I hope my niece can forgive those who wronged her also to be healthier and for healthy relationships in the future. Letting go is the hardest thing but the most important to be happy.