He knows...:-(

Last night was difficult, seeing my strong husband break down. I insisted that he call his mom and the conversation was hard for them both. She told him every thing she had been told, perhaps she thought I had already told him. Out of respect for her, I didn't say a word. It wasn't my news to tell or my health to talk about. Cancer is serious, especially when nothing can be done.  There won't be a biopsy, nor can it be removed because she can't have anesthesia. Her lung capacity is diminished from Emphysema and COPD. What time she has left is now up to her and God, there will be no medical intervention. Just Comfort measures.

It seems strange that our family will be going on the same journey we've already been walking with our friend T over the last few months. His body is weakening but he finds joy in the small things most of us take for granted. He still gets out of the house and goes to town.

It almost seems surreal that everything seems to be happening at once again and that 2013 may very well be a repeat of 2011. In 2011 my husband and I lost 8 family members from April 8 to December 21. All died unexpectedly except my step-mother who died on December 21, at the age of 81.

Sometimes I think when you're younger the losses seem few and far between. It might be years between loss and funerals. The grief was quite real but you had time to grieve between losses. In April 2011 in a matter of a few days we lost 4 family member. In July my husband's 14 year old cousin was killed on a 4-Wheeler, less than 2 months later another cousin was murdered. My Aunt went into Renal Failure and died in September and my step-mom in December.

Perhaps the earlier trials of grief when we were younger prepared us for what we faced in 2011 and what we will face this year. It's going to be hard and my husband will need my strength & love now. It just seems like the older we get the more family we lose. My Faith in God will give me strength and compassion when I need it the most.