I'm so happy my niece reached out to me yesterday. She is struggling coming to terms with the realization she has a problem and she's struggling with the return of feelings she tried to numb with heroin. She's an addict and will always be an addict, she will be recovering for the rest of her life. Heroin addiction is quite different than most addictive behavior as heroin is the strongest of the opiates.
It makes me question my long term use of opiates, that I have taken off and on since 1998. I hurt my back and was initially prescribed 800 mg of ibuprofen in the ER. By the first Drs appointment I was given a shot and placed on bedrest with a prescription of Tylenol 4 for 2 weeks. For the next 3 years I took epidural injections and cortisone in my lower back along with extensive physical therapy. I kept working as a Nursing Assistant, sometimes working 16 hour days. I continued to get worse. During the 3 years I took Ultram and a muscle relaxer, alternating between Flexerel and Zanaflex. After almost 3 years my Dr started restricting the hours I could work and placing me off work. I did everything possible to keep working and avoid stronger medication. My Dr ordered a second MRI and showed additional damage including deterioration of lower vertebraes from L4 down and an additional herniated disc. Due to unforseen circumstances I changed Drs, my first Dr died. I've been with my current Dr 12 years. In 2001 I was put on Percocet 5, initially prescribed 4 a day. After awhile and it was moved to 12 a day and then I had my operation. My surgeon put me on vicodin and increased my muscle relaxer from 2 to 8 a day. For 2 months I took 34 pills a day. I spoke with my Dr and Surgeon about the amount of pain relievers I was prescribed. I was worried about possible addiction. Both assured me that since I had a medical need addiction was not likely. I wasn't taking them for a Buzz. After 2 months my medicine was drastically decreased and I was fine with that.
Oddly enough when I was taking pain killers around the clock my niece who was 13-14 at the time was my care giver. Yes the same niece who is now dealing with a heroin addiction. During my heavily medicated first 2 months of recuperation, I could do very little for myself. I used a walker for 2 months but couldn't stand up without assistance to use it. My husband showered and dressed my lower extremities. Helped me go to the bathroom when he was home but when he was working, she helped me. I could not get in and out of bed without help, I needed someone to put my back brace on me. I was a mess. I got better but for how long? I'm as good as I'm going to get. As I age I will deteriorate further and I'm currently on a Class 2 Narcotic, I take 6 a day. I've been on the same dose for years and never ask for an increase or stronger dose. I also have the option of pain shots at the ER. I've only taken 3 in 15 years.
Earlier on I did everything possible to avoid long term pain killers including 4 epidural blocks, cortisone in my spine, surgery, therapy and work hardening. Everything failed. I made a conscience choice to avoid life altering decisions regarding pain relievers and stronger narcotics, so far so good. I worry about possible addiction and my own well being. Physically I need my medicine to function because the pain is real. It's not an imagined pain. Do I need it everyday? Some days NO.. somedays yes. I've had too many diagnostic test to prove the medicine is needed.Somedays doing basic house cleaning, laundry and vacuuming increases my pain or. Other days I can do more. Pain sucks!!
Considering the amounts of opiates I've taken and continue to take I'm not addicted. Those around me have progressed to hard drugs but I have not.
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