Privacy

Believe it or not I'm a very private person. It's easier for me to share bits and pieces of my life here without totally exposing myself. I'm a screen name here and a diabetic. I'm a grandmother because of a long marriage to my husband. I'm a daughter, aunt and friend. I have a few sick relatives and suffer with a back injury that may or may not put me in a chair. For 7 years I was an administrator of an online chat. My experience on the chat left me jaded and more private. I remain friends with a select few from the chat.

But I'm more than all of these things. I'm very private and shy. My experience with the chat and MySpace made me crave privacy. My security settings on Facebook are to the extreme. If your not a friend or on one of my existing friends list, " I don't exist" even though I'm registered as my real name.

An ex stalked me online and I left MySpace years ago because of the unwanted attention. Honestly the relationship we had ended in 1990 and didn't mean anything to me. There was no intimacy..nada. I held his hand at school. In his mind our relationship was life changing and based future relationships on what we had. He's had 2 failed marriages because they weren't me. I ended this "relationship weeks before I graduated, he was a Jr. Because of the distance and that I had plans after high school , having a boyfriend didn't fit in my plans. Ironically the night I graduated I was asked out and began a relationship that lasted 9 months, I moved out on Valentine's day. A few weeks after I left R , I met my husband.  My privacy is tight on Facebook to avoid my stalker ex.

Has R tried to find me too? I hope not. Again I'm unknown and removed a friend on Facebook that was a common link. My Facebook friends consist of lifelong friends, relatives and a few online friends. It's less complicated this way. My privacy and sense of self is important. The older I get I'm finding I'm more introverted. I'm content with being alone with my husband and dogs. After 22 years I'm happy with my life. Our family near and far means everything to us. There is a secret part to my heart nobody knows about. A secret self and unanswered questions of "what if ".These questions will never be realized but I'm okay with that. Loving my husband has completed me in ways I never thought possible after walking away from R.

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.